Managing Expectations

Over the past several months one question has consistently kept me up at night: how can I, both as an individual dedicated to self-improvement and as an aspiring social entrepreneur, manage expectations more effectively (i.e. reconcile what I want to happen, with what actually takes place)?

It is a quandary I’m sure we have all wrestled with over the course of our lives. Be it in a professional setting (e.g. driving profitability within a year), an interpersonal setting (e.g. winning over a member of the opposite sex), or a personal setting (e.g. following-through on a commitment to write a monthly blog (ugh!)).

In each case the challenge (it appears) lies in being able to manage  internal and external forces adroitly. For instance if a company’s goal is to achieve profitability, managers must not only work  together to align internal strategic goals (which in and of itself, I can assure you is no easy task),  but also to address the ever-changing needs of their vendors and consumers. Likewise, if one’s objective is to write a monthly blog (ugh!),  he/she must not only account for external work-related obligations but also internal desires to spend whatever little free time he/she has relaxing/”being lazy.”

Needless to say, succeeding is an art – one that takes years to master.

Nevertheless, upon reflection, it seems as if organizations/individuals who do succeed – who do reconcile their aspirations with actuality – do so in large part because they abide by the following core principles:

Believe in a vision – It all starts with a vision; whether your goal is to change the world or simply get out of bed, you must be fully and deeply aware of what you are trying to accomplish before you can set out on your journey.

Focus on achieving quick wins – By design, a vision can either be vague or specific. However, regardless it will only come to fruition in a viable manner if you embrace all the steps it takes to attain it. If your goal is to run a marathon for example, understand that before you can run 26 + miles you must run one.

Develop a set of key metrics – How you measure progress is entirely up to you (e.g. businesses oftentimes use KPIs); the point is that you must push yourself to meet certain standards. For example, if my goal is to write a blog at least once a month and I know writing is difficult for me, I might try and define how much time I have to come up with a concept, how early I must create an outline, and how long it should take me to flush it out.

Implement a set of processes – Metrics are meaningless unless you can measure them meaningfully; thus, it goes without saying that you must create a set of processes that will enable you to take advantage of the data you collect/feedback you receive. If for instance your goal is to talk to a girl without coming across like a complete tool (clearly not talking about myself!) – wherein quick wins constitute being able to smile, say “hello”, and hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes without stammering – then perhaps you might want to try: engaging in dialogue with someone new every day, going out to a social event once every weekend, or incorporating something you read/heard in your day-to-day conversations.

Communicate these processes effectively – Communication is key throughout, but especially here. For if your vision is ever to succeed, everyone who has a stake in its realization must be in agreement – if not for their own well-being, then at least to ensure that you do not neglect yours.

Execute  – Once the aforementioned processes are in place, there is no need to wait; meet your shadowy future with courage and determination. If you fail, you’ll fail quickly thereby giving yourself more opportunities to ultimately succeed.

Seek feedback – Lastly, in order to ensure that you give yourself every chance to realize your ultimate vision, it is imperative that you seek  feedback every step along the way. Is your long-term objective in line with who you want to be? Are the metrics you’re holding yourself to a true measurement of whether or not you’re making progress? Are the processes that you have in place enabling you to receive feedback as efficiently as possible? Are all the parties involved on the same page as you or do you need to communicate more precisely? Are your actions moving you in the right direction? Etc.

The more frequently we answer these key questions, the sooner we will realize that: by holding ourselves accountable we put the future in our hands.

Thoughts?